My husband and I celebrated Valentine’s Day on Wednesday instead of Friday. We met a group for dinner in Orlando. During the drive over, we were disconnected from one another, distracted by other things. We were not intentional about making connection. Although the dinner was enjoyable, the company was great, the evening was not conducive to growing in our knowing of one another. We didn’t embrace the opportunity to learn something new about each other.
I realized how intentional we must be to create a platform for intimacy. It’s so easy to go through life busy and distracted, especially with cell phones. It would have been considered rude to take a nonurgent phone call during a date in the past (keeping in mind the date starts in the driveway). Now we text with colleagues and friends, not giving it a second thought, which is in essence bringing them on the date. Our need for intimacy and connection has not changed, it is just being squelched by societal norms.
I am old enough to have lived before the invention of computers and cell phones; I can remember what life was like. Technology is a wonderful thing, we just need to be intentional about setting standards with our devices, not allowing them to dictate our lives and relationships. We need to carve out time to be unreachable and able to give our spouse our undivided attention.
Ideas for creating space to grow in know:
- Buy a copy of a Bible instead of using your Bible app. for morning devotions. Leave
your phone in another room during your quiet time with the Lord, give Him your
undivided attention. - Make mealtime phone free. Be intentional about connecting with your dinner
companions. - Leave phones in the car during date nights, give caretakers the restaurant’s phone
number so you can be reached in case of an emergency (true emergencies rarely
arise). - On long car rides have intervals of no devices (put them in the trunk) and play games
like “I’m Going on a Trip”, “I Spy”, or “Have You Ever?” - Take trips where there’s no internet access (if places still exist) these are the best trips
ever.
