Have I mentioned that marriage is tough? Have I mentioned that after 31 years, my husband
and I still don’t have it all figured out, but we continue to put in the effort?
Yesterday, after sending a bunch of frustrated texts to my husband, it dawned on me: What we
truly desire most is one another’s affections. The more we strive to be right, or to justify our
actions, the harder our hearts become. The seat of our affections is where our emotions and
feelings reside. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to “guard our hearts, for everything flows from it.”
The world often equates “guarding” with “protecting,” which is about keeping people at a
distance from our hearts. But that’s not what Proverbs is saying. It’s telling us to protect our
hearts— not by keeping others out, but by being mindful of what we allow into them. Our hearts
are vulnerable to what we see, what we hear, and what we speak—these are the roadways that
shape the seat of our affections.
I also often hear people talk about “putting on their armor” in a spiritual sense. But here’s what I
believe: Jesus is our armor. We don’t “put it on” ourselves; we simply allow Him to cover us.
The armor He provides is meant to protect our hearts from hardening, so that we don’t shut
our spouse or loved ones out of our affections.
I’ve attached a list of practices I’ve found helpful to help keep us armored in Jesus’ love —for
the battles we face every day in marriage.
The Armor of God
- Helmet of Salvation – Once we are born again our helmets are on for life.
Unlike football, when a player receives a hard hit and their helmet comes
off, nothing can remove our helmet of salvation no matter how hard the
hit. - Breastplate of righteousness – When we try to justify our actions, prove
ourselves right or seek vindication we are removing our breastplate of
righteousness which protects our hearts. Whenever the enemy tries to
accuse us, we can agree with him. Even if his accusations are not true,
there is usually a thread of truth for which we can take ownership. It’s best
just to agree with him saying, “I’m a sinner saved by grace, I stand in Jesus’
righteousness not my own.” - Belt of truth – When we lie, we take off our belt of truth
- Gospel of Peace – We are ambassadors of peace. Knowing when to take off
our sandals of peace comes with knowing, growing and discerning between
unrighteous (our anger) and righteous anger (God’s hot displeasure). - Shield of Faith – We are to stand in Jesus’ faith, when we do, our trust in
Him grows. “Lord you got me through that, you’ll get me through this”. - Sword of the Spirit – The Word of God is how we grow in our know of Jesus.
It is a defensive weapon to be used to keep our hearts tender, not a
weapon to be sed to attack people. People are not our enemies; the enemy
of our souls is unseen. - Praying in the Spirit – God gives us a heavenly language that takes us out of
our circumstance to a higher realm. It’s in our arsenal, it’s not for show, it is
a gift of the Holy Spirit to help us overcome.
